OOC, Humour, Parody
Please note that this fanfic isn't meant to be taken seriously in any way.
Halt jerked out of bed as a piercing cry of alarm reached his ears.His hand latched onto his Saxe knife, never far away from his side, for a moment he stood crouched, bare-foot on the floor of his room, breathing fast as adrenaline flowed through his system.
Slowly he began to move for the door, knife held at the ready, and opened it.Everything seemed fairly normal.The main room of the cabin was in order, just as he’d left it the night before. The door was shut and nothing seemed amiss, he frowned suddenly, a groan reached his ears, it came from Will’s room.
Halt silently moved across the floor, and raised up and hand, pushing open the oak door that bared the way into his apprentice’s room.
‘Will?’ he asked, as the door opened, Halt blinked feeling a little puzzled, ‘is something wrong.’
His apprentice was sat on his bed, his head buried in his hands, a groan tinged with despair was the only reply the grizzled ranger received.
Halt sighed and sat down on the bed next to Will, ‘Would you kindly tell me what’s going on?Was it you that screamed?’
Will slowly raised his head, ‘Halt,’ he moaned, ‘it’s awful.’
Halt stared into his apprentice’s mournful brown eyes, ‘What is?’
Will raised a shaking hand up and pointed at his chin, ‘That,’ he quavered.
The Hibernian leaned forward a little and scrutinized Will’s chin, ‘A single spot,’ he said flatly, ‘that’s what all this fuss is about?'
The boy stared up at him his expression bleak, and pointed to his forehead, Halt threw his hands up in a gesture of mild annoyance, ‘So you have two spots, what’s the matter with that exactly?’
‘I’m going to see Alyss today,’ mumbled Will, ‘And I have spots…’
Halt arched an eyebrow as he regarded the distraught teen sat before him, he had an experience with teens before, but only once and that had been a few years back, he’d forgotten how annoying they could be.
‘Halt, what am I going to do?’
He gritted his teeth, ‘I doubt Alyss will mind.’
‘But she will,’ moaned the boy.
Any moment now he’s going to start crying, thought Halt a little sourly, he didn’t take kindly to being woken up so early in the morning for no serious reason.
‘Can’t they be removed or something?’ pleaded Will, looking a little puppy-eyed, ‘please do something.’
Halt eyed his apprentice, ‘Just leave them for a few days then they’ll go,’ he turned to step out the room and go make himself a cup of coffee.
Will quickly leapt to his feet and started to pluck at the sleeve of Halt’s night-tunic with a worried expression on his face, ‘Please,’ he begged, ‘Isn’t there a potion or cream I can use?’
Halt, seeing he wouldn’t get any peace till he gave Will something for his spots relented, ‘There’s probably something in the herbalists, just go in there and ask at the counter.’
He turned to make a second attempt at leaving but was stopped his tracks, ‘But I can’t go! What if someone sees me?’
Halt tried to keep his rapidly fraying temper in check, ‘Then wear your cloak.’
‘But that doesn’t cover my chin.’
Halt drew breath to make a snappy reply but never managed to, ‘What if Alyss is in the herbalists?’ Will’s eyes widened, an expression of shock crossing his face, ‘Or what if the herbalist tells her or what if someone I know or she knows is at the herbalist and they…’
Halt’s temper snapped, ‘Fine then!’ he growled, ‘I’ll go and get your potion if you promise to just shut up for ten minutes!’
For a moments the Ranger thought his apprentice was going to throw himself down on the floor and kiss his feet, instead he let out a deep sigh of relief and gazed at Halt with an expression of satisfaction on his face, ‘Thanks Halt, I’ll never complain or do anything to annoy you again.’
‘Oh I seriously doubt that,’ sighed Halt, and turned, purposefully striding in the direction of the coffee cupboard.
The herbalist looked up as the door to her shop swung open, a half-formed smile froze on her face, ‘Why Ranger Halt,’ she said, feeling momentarily taken aback, ‘What brings you here this morning.’
Halt stifled a sigh of despair, he’d been unsure as to how to go about this, ‘Well you see, my apprentice, he has a problem…’
The Herbalist looked a little worried, everyone in Redmont was fond of Will and regarded him as “theirs” in a way, ‘Oh, is it anything serious?’
‘No, no, no,’ Halt replied, but if Will’s reaction was to be gone by it was a complete disaster, ‘he just has a problem with his…urm…face.’
For a moment the Herbalist stared at the Ranger blankly before her expression cleared, ‘Ah, I see, well,’ she turned to scan the rows of shelves behind her, holding jars full of pastes and potions, ‘This should do the trick,’ she said with a satisfied air turning to display a small jar containing a cream, ‘Just tell him to apply some to the affected area in the morning and evening, that should soon clear it up.’
Halt nodded his thanks and handed over the money, before the turned to leave he paused and added, ‘My apprentice would be grateful if this was kept between us.’
A large smile spread across the woman’s face, ‘Of course, I understand perfectly.’
When Halt arrived back at the cabin his apprentice was sat at the table, his coffee stood in front of him untouched, as soon as Halt pushed open the door Will leaped up from his seat and ran over to him gabbling, ‘Did you get it? Did Alyss see you? How-?’
Halt threw up his hands an expression of irritation on his face, ‘For heaven’s sake Will, let me get through the door.’
Will backed off a little but continued to gaze anxiously at him, ‘Yes I got it,’ sighed Halt eventually after removing his trademark cloak.
For a moment Halt was worried his apprentice was going to hug him, instead he stood there, his eyes shinning, hand held out eagerly awaiting the desired lotion for his spots, once Halt had removed it from his cloak and handed it over to his apprentice he galloped off to his room, a wide smile of delight covering his face, ‘Thanks Halt,’ he shouted over his shoulder and slammed the door shut behind him.
Halt didn’t bother replying, he was drinking his coffee.
A little while later Will emerged from his cabin, a satisfied expression on his face, two large globs of cream clung to his face, one on is chin, one on his forehead.
Halt raised an eyebrow, trying not to grin at how ridiculous his apprentice looked, instead he grunted, ‘Well I hope you’re feeling better, now would you please drop it about those infernal spots.’
Will gave a satisfied sigh and nodded, sinking into his chair and happily slurping at his coffee, ‘All right Halt, I will.’
'One hour later…
‘Can I go now?’ blurted Will, Halt had agreed to give him the morning off to visit Alyss and his friends over at Redmont, and he didn’t want to be late.
Halt grunted in reply and nodded his consent, he looked up suddenly, ‘Wait a moment,’ he tapped his chin.
Will suddenly realised that there were two large dollops of lotion on his face, ‘Oh,’ he grinned sheepishly and hastily wiped them away, ‘Thanks Hal…’ he words died on his lips and he went a little pale, gently placing a hand on his chin, then the other on his forehead.
‘Oh for…’ groaned Halt, ‘What is it!?’ ‘They’re still there,’ moaned Will, the by now, all-to-familiar expression of despair on his face, ‘Of course they’re still there!’ exploded Halt looking exasperated, ‘Did you honestly think they’d disappear in just one hour?’
‘Well…yes,’ Will replied in a small voice.
Halt ground his teeth in frustration, ‘Well they don’t,’ he softened a little as his apprentice looked at him hopelessly, ‘I don’t quite see what your problem is Will,’ he sighed eventually.
‘Why are you so worried about Alyss seeing you with two small spots?’
Will looked indignant, ‘They’re not small Halt they’re huge…’
Halt cut him off sharply, ‘I don’t care,’ he snapped, ‘Listen, if Alyss is your friend she won’t laugh at you, or think your ugly just because you have a spot on your forehead and chin.’
‘Really?’ asked Will in a small voice.
‘Yes,’ sighed Halt trying to resist the overpowering urge to throw his apprentice out the nearest window, ‘Now go! You’ll be late.’
Halt let out a pent-up breath of relief and leaned back in his chair, an expression of relief on his face as his apprentice charged out of the door calling for Tug, finally some peace and quiet.
Halt looked up, nodding a brief greeting as Will wandered into the cabin, his hair was tousled and cheeks flushed, ‘Had a nice time.’
‘The best,’ came the cheerful reply.
For a few moments there was silence whilst Will removed his cloak and slung it around the hook by the door, ‘Halt,’ he asked slowly.
‘What’s that cream called that you brought me for my spots called?’
‘Not to sure, why?’Halt glanced at his apprentice.
‘Oh, it’s just…’
‘Just what?’ Halt’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.
‘Alyss has spots.’